We found this document in an FFFBI trash can, and as sworn Agents of the Free Press, we present it to you here:
FFFBI Internal Memorandum ref: 786Ugh
Our Advertising Agency thinks the FFFBI needs to improve its public image, and they've suggested the following new slogans for us to consider.
- Our Agents are now 27% cleaner!
- Nobody is smarter than the FFFBI. Except maybe the CIIIA. And InterPoultry. And Scotland Barnyard. And that kid on the corner with the yo-yo.
- Even the baddest bad guys like to be arrested by Agents of the Triple F.
- Forget everything you read in the papers: we're great. Honest we are.
- Ostriches, antelopes, eels and weasels: everyone is welcome at the FFFBI, although parking is limited.
- Of all the Bureaus of Investigation you might need, the Fin, Fur and Feather is probably one of the ones you should think about. Maybe.
- The FFFBI: unlikely to foul things up particularly badly. And that's a promise.